Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex…But Were Afraid to Ask

1. Ever been to a male strip club? Yes….in Montreal. I didn’t enjoy it.

2. Ever been to a female strip club? Never

3. Ever been to a bar? Ummm- is this for real? Yes, I have been to a bar.

4. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Never

5. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out from a bar? I’ve never been drunk.

6. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? See question #5.

7. Kissed someone of the same sex? That’s just nasty. he he

8. Thrown up from drinking too much? What is it with the alcohol…see questions #5 and #6.

9. Had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Yes (Mom, I hope you’re not reading)

10. Had sex in a car? Yes, but not to climax (Mom, I strongly suggest you stop reading).

11. Had sex in a park? Yes, but not to climax (with a female!)

12. Had sex in a movie theater? Yes, but not to climax (once again…with a female!)

13. Had sex in a bathroom? Yes (stop reading, Mom)

14. Had sex in a school? Yes (I’m so going to hell)

15. Have you ever been in an “adult” store? Hell yeah – I brought my Mom to a sex shop before.

16. Have you ever purchased items from an adult store? Of course.

17. Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store? Yes – that stuff is pricey!

18. Is there someone you wished you never had sex with? Oh yeah.

19. Is there someone you wished you would have had sex with? HMMMM – I suppose there must be one that got away. But I can’t think of anybody specifically.

20. How many partners have you had? UMMM. Actually, I have an Excel spreadsheet I’ve kept (because I’m a geek). It’s complicated, though, because it breaks things down by what activity took place (some were just heavy petting, etc…).

21. Have you ever received oral sex? Yes.

22. Have you ever given oral sex? Yes.

23. Have you ever had a threesome? Yes (my Mom is never giving me another birthday gift)

24. Are your breasts real? Last time I checked.

25. Have you ever used viagra (or anything like it)? Yes

26. Would you rather give or receive oral sex? File this under TMI, but I guess I prefer receiving. My jaw hurts otherwise.

27. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Well, not random person walking down the street…but a first date (who I technically wouldn’t know).

28. How old were you when you first had sex? What do you consider sex? In the Bill Clinton sense (11 or 12 years old…male and female). In the vaginal sense (18 years old). In the Jesse Helms hates me sense (20 years old).

29. Have you ever had a one night stand? Not intentionally (though, as indicated in question #20, this doesn’t necessarily mean penetration).

30. Were you honest in this survey? Unfortunately.

11 Comments

  1. Comment by Mark on May 31, 2006 10:17 am

    Oh pumpkin, I’m curious as to what your purity test score is… You’re so deceptively innocent looking. 🙂

  2. Comment by chrispy on May 31, 2006 10:33 am

    *yawn*

  3. Comment by Will on May 31, 2006 11:08 am

    Mark, you know it’s frequently the quiet, innocent-looking guys who are the really dangerous ones.

    Karl, let me understand this–you’ll take your mother into an adult shop but you think she doesn’t know you’re having sex all over the landscpe?

    I have a list and thought that was bad enough–but a spreadsheet! That’s impressive. 🙂

  4. Comment by karyn on May 31, 2006 12:04 pm

    He has little written narratives too, with a 5 star ratings system. Kind of like his own personal Michelin guide. (I was going to put Zagat’s but that invites too much trouble.)

  5. Comment by J.P. on May 31, 2006 1:04 pm

    Another one with an Excel spreadsheet! Yay! I’m not the only gay geek that does that… mine was originally on Multiplan though. I fear that makes me sound ancient.

  6. Comment by Will on May 31, 2006 3:13 pm

    No, Jason–mine’s hand written–how’s THAT for ancient?

  7. Comment by Doug on May 31, 2006 4:08 pm

    OMG…I was supposed to keep a list????

  8. Comment by Brad on June 1, 2006 10:17 am

    Well, that’s too bad . . . I posted answers to the questions . . . and it didn’t take . . . oh well. 😉

  9. Comment by JC on June 1, 2006 1:43 pm

    You have a freakin spreadsheet? Why on earth would you need such a thing? Do you really want to remember that badly?

  10. Comment by Fred on June 2, 2006 1:52 pm

    Hmmm…never done the spreadsheet thing, and lists tend to get lost/outdated… How does one quantify the ‘anonymous’ column (grin)…whose hand WAS that…does that count as three people or five, etc…

    ANYway…a friend recently told me about this rather amusing free software: iTrick; I think the site is http://www.iTrick.com….organizes, rates, etc. – QUITE the handy thing for the modern homo on the go…

  11. Comment by Dave in Chicago (2) on June 5, 2006 4:19 pm

    Karyn….plus “Zagat’s” rhymes with ….. ;-P

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