Having It Easy
Randy had one of his employees pop by last night for conversation and drinks. I’ve met the guy once or twice before, but this time he was bringing his boyfriend of 3.5 years (who neither Randy nor I have met). And seeing them together made me realize how lucky we have it.
You see, there are different types of relationships. I’d say the easiest relationship would be of two employable American heterosexuals of the same race and religion. In that instance, there is less resistance from society, family, and the government. But things gradually get more complicated with each additional difference. For example, going from easiest to most difficult:
- heterosexual, American, employed, same race and religion
- heterosexual, American, employed, same race, different religion
- heterosexual, American, employed, different race, same religion
- heterosexual, American, employed, different religion, different race
- heterosexual, different nationalities, employed, same religion, same race
- heterosexual, different nationalities, employed, different religion, same race
- heterosexual, different nationalities, employeed, different religion, different race
- homosexual, American, employed, same race and religion (and perhaps living in the northeast)
- homosexual, American, employed same race and religion (living in the deep south).
…ok, I’m getting tired, but you get the picture here. With each different characteristic, it can make the most basic foundation of a relationship less secure.
So imagine the following scenario for Randy’s friend last night:
- He’s gay and employed
- He’s a French citizen, but living and working in the U.S, with English as a second language.
- His boyfriend is gay (obviously), unemployed, and nearly a decade younger.
- The boyfriend is from Taiwan, only allowed in the U.S. for 4 months per his visa, with Taiwanese as his native language and limited English skills as a second language (and even worse French language skills).
I can’t imagine trying to make a relationship like that work, yet they’ve managed for over 3 years. Because of our immigration laws, only heterosexual spouses or blood-family members can move here…so cohabitating is out of the question. The economy sucks so travel to the other side of the world regularly to visit each other is out of the question (especially with one of them unemployed and living with his parents). Then there’s the racial, cultural, and religious differences in their families (and from society).
Yeah, I think Randy and I have it pretty good, even if I am a damn yankee.
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