Something’s Up
I rarely remember my dreams but it seems that they’ve been so vivid lately. Last night was even stranger than last week’s Montreal art museum dream.
Randy and I were relocating to a new city. It had old housing stock like Provincetown (with water views and such) but it was a neighborhood in a larger city with skyscrapers. The immediate neighborhood was quite plush and green and reminded me of the neighorhood I stayed in while in Minneapolis a few years ago.
We found an apartment that was added onto the roof of a building. It was a tiny unit, but had a huge wrap-around roofdeck that was shaded by large trees. The roof deck alone sold me on the place.
The next thing you know Randy and I are starting our new jobs and, strangely, were working at the same place. We arrived on our first day to meet our new boss. She was an attractive woman who resembled Mercedes Ruehl. Except there was one big difference…
…she had a penis.
For some reason, our boss was naked and apparently a well-endowed hermaphrodite. She was also extremely well-endowed with ample breasts. Randy and I couldn’t stop looking. Anyway, we were walking through our new office building (getting the tour of the space) and our new boss stumbled upon a collection of (straight) porn magazines. She flipped through a few pages explaining why there were magazines in the office, but we were too confused to pay attention to what she was saying. She began getting aroused until Randy (always Mr. Subtlety) asked if he could touch her penis (it really was enormous).
He did, then I did, and that was that. The next scene was back at the roof top apartment. I was preparing to do a load of laundry but noticed that there were already clothes in the washer. I called the landlord (who lived downstairs, but who I’d not met yet since we leased the place through a rental agency) and she said she’d come up. When she arrived, we discovered that the landlord was also our boss.
She came into our apartment (still naked) and said that the laundry was hers. She said she always does one load of her laundry in the machine between new tenants to make sure the equipment works properly.
I suppose that may explain why she was always naked…maybe all of her clothes were in the wash?
Anyway, then I woke up. It wasn’t an erotic dream at all (despite all of the nudity). And I wouldn’t call is strange, either, because it all seemed so normal at the time.
But WTF?
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You’re ambivalent about what appendages you look for in a partner? You like to watch? Actually it is quite interesting that there’s all this stuff related to sex and sexuality and yet the dream was not really sexual in nature. Hey, why can you use the “P” word in your post but a few times when I tried to in your comments they censored it?!
Really? It censored penis? That’s interesting. You know what, years ago I started getting lots of spam emails (you know, V1AGR@ and stuff). So, I “banned” certain words from appearing in my comments to stop them. It seems to have worked.
Though, I’d hate to think I’m preventing people from writing what they want. Thankfully, there are (often times creative) slang terms that can be used instead!
Wait? I was just able to use penis…
Well, use the word “penis”…not exactly “use” my penis.
Never mind.
maybe you can because you are the owner?