My Life, As Told Between (Baby Cakes') Naps

We picked names for our Secret Santa gift exchange at work today. Until last year, apparently each attorney on my litigation team used to get gifts for all the other attorneys on the team, but we moved to a Secret Santa system because the team had gotten too large (it’s a given that we’re all expected to get gifts for our secretaries and other support staff).  JP2 is in charge of the Secret Santa exchange this year. We’ve picked our names but haven’t determined a price range yet (my Secret Santa giftee, btw, is JP1). Apparently, JP2 had discussed it with A1 and had tentatively suggested $100 but asked her to consult with A2 and I (the only other junior associates on the team) because, “Well, you guys are the ones the limit’s really for.” I think it’s sweet that the partners are worried about whether we can afford the $100 gift with our low six figure salaries.  =)

I always find Christmas time to be a bit awkward. Mostly because of the gifts thing. I just don’t have a talent for it.  Some people are really good at it and enjoy the whole process.  To me, gift exchanges are fraught with peril. A minefield of potential hurt emotions and disappointment. As I mentioned, I’m horrible at buying gifts for other people (since I’m too easily distracted with things I want).  I’m also horrible at knowing who I’m supposed to give gifts to.

Gift giving isn’t just about who you want to give gifts to but about who you expect will give you a gift (and therefore expect one in return). Sadly, I think gift giving requires a level of awareness of others and a sensitivity I’m just incapable of.  Or perhaps ignoring it just requires a level of insensitivity which I’m also incapable of.  Every year, I end up with gifts from people I didn’t expect to give me anything and end up giving gifts to people who didn’t get me anything. I don’t particularly care except the uneven exchange of gifts is often riddled with awkwardness and insincere declarations of, “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” and “Um, I left your gift at home by mistake.” I’m pretty good at ignoring awkwardness (or at least acknowledging it and generally alleviating it) but not everyone is and, in this instance at least, denial is a joint effort. 

I realize Christmas is not all about gift giving and material things (*cue Hallmark theme music*), but Christmas gifts have become an acknowledged means of showing gratitude for the people we care about. Unfortunately, I don’t have an endless supply of time, money and patience (or even a limited supply actually) so not everyone’s going to get the perfect gift. Maybe when I’m more organized and prepared and buy gifts at some point before December 24th. Until that time…um…your gift’s in the mail.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (at least its non-sentimental and materialistic side), here’s a list of fifty random (and purely material) things I’m thankful for, in no particular order: 

(1) Lucky jeans; (2) costume jewelry; (3) The Coffee Bean; (4) ipods; (5) pumpkin pie; (6) nut body butter; (7) shower water filters; (8) Splenda; (9) chocolate covered soy nuts; (10) Asics running shoes; (11) The Economist’s photo captions; (12) Mr. Darcy; (13) Cetaphil moisturizer; (14) Pixar films; (15) black teas; (16) Prescriptives makeup; (17) feather mattress pads; (18) Victoria Secret’s tangas; (19) Ambrosia apples; (20) Stargazers flowers; (21) Orion’s Constellation; (22) stadium seating; (23) dim sum; (24) Monty Python and the Holy Grail; (25) Sleek Look by Matrix hair care products; (26) Coach purses; (27) Serenity, the movie; (28) Udon noodles; (29) Winesburg, Ohio, the book; (30) down comforters; (31) The Daily Show; (32) tomato and mushroom pizzas; (33) Bill Bryson; (34) Gmail; (35) Sakonnet’s dry ice wines; (36) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy; (37) peppermint stick ice cream; (38) berry scented candles; (39) banana bread; (40) The Simpsons; (41) Spaceballs; (42) The Onion; (43) Sweet Retreat’s tangy frozen yogurt; (44) Issey Miyake’s L’eau d’Issey; (45) blogs; (46) H&M; (47) The New York Times; (48) The Reduced Shakespeare Company; (49) Carolina Herrera’s 212; (50) mint chocolate anything.

Enjoy your stuff, each other and your health.  =)  Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving all!

Made my first foray to the mall to start my Christmas shopping. Ended up with a suit, necklace, top, and pair of pants … for myself. Walked away from a cute argyle sweater and wool coat.  I really, really need to learn how to do this Christmas shopping for others things.

Sixteen mile run on Saturday was excellent! I’m hoping I’ll make the shorter eight mile run while at home this weekend. It’ll be hard to do anything between sessions of stuffing my face. If anyone feels like driving down to San Jose and joining me, or knows someone who knows someone who might consider it, please let me know! I hate running alone.  =(

Saw Pride & Prejudice.  Loved it.  Knew I would.  The best description I’ve heard of described this latest version as Jane Austin with a touch of Emily Bronte (no one thinks the person who wrote/said this was anything other than an English major, right?).  Much more melodramatic than most Austin adaptations.  There were some scenes where it could have easily been Heathcliff in the moors rather than Mr. Darcy in Hertfordshire.  Keira Knightly was a stunning, slightly giddy Lizzie (a little too glamorous to be totally believable though) and Matthew MacFadyen was probably the most endearing Mr. Darcy I’ve ever seen (more awkwardly shy than aristocratically aloof). 

Went to a Tiki Boat party in Newport Beach.  Got lost.  Went to a house party in Pasadena.  Got lost.  Had fun (when I eventually got there) though.

Anyone else tired of models who put on fat suits to see what it’s like to be overweight in America and discover to their shock and horror that (*gasp*) they’re not treated as well as when they were thin and, you know, MODELS?  Tyra Banks did this recently.  While at the gym this morning (yay!), I caught a “news” segment (I was a captive audience, I had no choice!) where another model donned a fat suit and walked the streets of New York to see what it was like.  Apparently it (surprise!) sucked and she (surprise!) was not treated as nicely as when she was thin and beautiful.*

My favorite part of the segment was when she said, “It’s tragic that people are still judged on their weight in America” and followed it up with something along the lines of “beauty is on the inside.”  Um, hello?  Cog in the wheel of the modeling industry?  What with the whole contributing to the problem thing?  I’d like to see a segment where a beautiful model just tones it down for a day and sees what life is like for an average, non-5’11” woman.  Now THAT might be mildly interesting.**

While we’re on the subject of fat, has anyone tried the Peppermint Ice Blendeds at the Coffee Bean?  =) Yummmm…

*Not to say that being beautiful requires being thin, but that’s certainly the norm in most societies nowadays.  Also, I realize weight can send certain socio-economic signs which might tie into her preferential treatment when she was thin, but those socio-economic cues are related to concepts of beauty so it really does come down to thin = beautiful.  (For an interesting discussion on how thin = pedophelia = beautiful, i.e., the sexualization of children and their bodies and the emulation of this corporeal ideal by women, you should talk to my brilliant Roomie.) 

**Fairness requires that I add there was one comment she made that I actually did find interesting.  She had thought that being in the fat suit would call a lot of negative attention to her, but found that she was rendered virtully invisible by the suit.  Made me think of the way we deal with individuals who are different in any way – we attempt to ignore the difference, which draws more attention to it than anything else could.  An interesting juxtaposition of the obvious and the ignored.  The (absolutely no wisecrack intended) white elephant in the room.

Blogger Bash ’05 was a smashing success.  Finally got to meet G and Vitatwin last night, as well as spend time with KQ, KA, the Frog, and some non-bloggers (J and Arm Candy).  =)  Thanks again for hosting G – it was fantastic!

The night was off to a good start when I managed to navigate my way to and through G’s (WOTWIFLI) Byzantine* apartment complex with a minimum number of detours (3).  It got even better when I arrived at G’s apartment and was greeted with hors d’oeuvre, or yum-yums, as my dad calls them, and cookies.  G, Vitatwin (G’s brother) and KQ proved to be even more charming in person than in cyberspace.  We played a terrific game of Taboo (honestly the BEST game EVER), invented inside jokes (most of which aren’t appropriate to repeat on this blog) and picked up new nicknames (Snort and Squeak were probably my favorites).

I must have used up my dose of navigational know-how getting to G’s place though because I managed to get loss on the way back home from his place (despite the fact that his apartment is less than a mile from my office).  At one point my car was at the corner of the street I take to get home and the street where my office is located and I could SEE my office, two blocks away.  I still wasn’t quite sure which way to go.  I actually had to drive back to the office, which, again, I could see from where I was, and start from there.  I seriously think whatever part of my brain controls spacial stuff is defective.  Seriously, seriously defective.

Oh, and per everyone’s request, here’s the article (and picture) of the alligator eating exploding snake.  This sad snake gives new meaning to the phrase “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

*Byzantine and Kafkaesque are two of my favorite words.  Mostly because they’re complicated and slightly obscure words which are somewhat ironically used as adjectives to describe things that are complex and, perhaps needlessly, intricate!  =)  (*hanging head in dorky shame now*)

Still trying to churn through these documents.  In the meanwhile, here’s some randomness:

For those who haven’t seen it yet, this is a great site with old Weight Watcher’s recipes.  My favorite is probably the Mousse of Salmon, although there are many, many hilarious (and disgusting) recipes to choose from. 

I picked up a Michael Kors bag that was half the price of the Coach one I’ve been wanting and ordered a cute Fossil bag (see below) this week. 

This is it though.  I’m done with the purse thing.  One of them may even go back, depending on how much retail therapy I feel I need… although, they’ve finally exhausted my tax and 401K withholdings, so it’s practically like getting a raise!  =)  And for those keeping track of my recent purse purchases:  Purses recently purchased (4).  Purses returned (2).  Potential purse returns (1).

Am excited about going home for Thanksgiving.  Haven’t been home in months, as my grandmother frquently and tearfully reminds me.  It’s hard being the best-loved granddaughter (um, no offense B. and L.).  Anyways, if you’re in the Bay Area over Thanksgiving, give me a call.  And if you’re interested in going out in SF with my Quad friends Saturday Friday night, definitely give me a call!  

Oh, and please don’t let me within ten feet of anymore Halloween candy.  I think I may be sick.  (I don’t know why people seem to think that just because one’s not ten anymore and one is therefore ostensibly an “adult,” one has any more self control now than one did then.)

Scene:  Friday afternoon, JP2 enters my office waiving a draft letter I’d emailed to him yesterday.  I’m slumped in my chair, despondently reviewing page 1,500 of a 15,600 page document review project.

JP2:  This letter made me laugh!

Silence.  Panicked thoughts of being fired for my incompetence racing through my mind.  Shock and confusion, tinged with horror, etched on my weary face.

JP2:  (looking a little confused)  I can’t wait to see opposing counsel’s reaction to it! 

Me:  (light slowly dawning)  Ohhhhh.  Oh, uh, yes, it’s a rather stern letter.  That’s the tone you wanted, right?

JP2:  Right.  It’s perfect.  Great job!

Me:  (beginning to breath normally again)  Whew.  I thought you were laughing because the letter was really bad!  That, by the way, accounts for the look of panic you may have noticed when you first walked in.

JP2:  (shocked)  What?  I was wondering what that was all about.  I thought I’d done something wrong!

Me:  Nope, just me being paranoid.

JP2:  I’d certainly never couch criticism in those terms!  Or at least I hope I wouldn’t.

Me:  I know.  It just took me a second to realize what you meant.  My first thought was, “Wow, why is JP2 being so mean?”

JP2:  Okay, well, if I ever do – feel free to tell me to go to hell!

End scene.

Epilogue:  I’m still in the office desperately trying to finish the document review project that needs to be done by Tuesday.  Currently on page 6,161.  *Tears*  Sadness at working all weekend and having to cancel all plans mitigated only slightly by realization that at least I am appreciated.

Am I missing something? How are there not more people offended by Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Girls? She has four seemingly subservient asian women at her bleach blonde beck and call, bestows idiotic names on them (Love, Angel, Music, Baby), purportedly doesn’t allow them to speak English in public . . . and it’s supposed to be cute? Seriously?

Margaret Cho has an interesting, and slightly sad, comment about it on her blog.

Interesting article on the politics of fat.  Apparently there’s an underground pro-fat group that disrupts Weight Watcher’s meetings.  Who knew?  Anyways, maybe I’ve bought into the diet industry’s propaganda, but I just can’t believe (as much as I would like to) that being overweight isn’t unhealthy.   

Yesterday’s run was fantastic!  Perfect California weather.  Impending foot pain never materialized (thank you new shoes!).  Running friends all showed up (I have running friends!).  Chatted the entire run (incredible how much more quickly time passes when engaged in conversation).  Was not forced to run behind guy with weirdly long strides (therefore disrupting the stride of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught behind him – kind of like a running doppler effect).*

Went to Ikea yesterday.  Roomie appears to be going through a nesting phase.  She does this periodically.  Very odd.  At least she bakes banana bread when nesting.  Am addicted to the stuff.  Am pro-nesting as long as it keeps me in banana bread.

Should also do some work today.  Am keeping fingers crossed this will actually happen.  Otherwise, may be forced to weep copiously to get out of trouble for lack of progress on major assignment.  Am a girl like that.

* Assuming I have an inkling of what the doppler effect was.  Which I don’t.  Again, am a girl.  (FYI, I’m reading Planet Simpsons, which discusses how The Simpsons defined a generation and am in the midst of a chapter entitled Lisa Lionheart.  Simpson watchers will know what this means and how it relates to the just a girl references.  Non-Simpson watchers, well, what’s wrong with you?!)

Edited to read:  Posting things one feels bad about later.

I LOVE this time change.  Yes, it means I never see the light of day since it’s pitch dark when I leave the office every night.  Yes, it means I’m exhausted by 10pm (9pm if I’m being honest).  But, on the other hand, I’ve been springing out of bed (well, relative to my usual routine of curling up into a ball and hitting snooze until I only have enough time to brush my teeth before heading out the door) at 6:30 every morning to work out.  I’ve been to a Pilates and a body sculpting class this week, as well as having made it to both my mid-week runs.  I feel great!  Can’t wait until the 14 mile run this weekend!

I care pretty much not at all about baseball, but I find Theo Epstein’s departure from the Boston Red Sox a fascinating human interest story.  There’s a great article on it at ESPN.com.

Oh and bit of a non sequitur (although not really if you follow this blog at all), but I love, love, love these pocket satchels in varying shades of brown from Coach.  But I need a really, really, really good excuse before I’ll let myself buy one.  Like passing the Bar again.  Hmmm, maybe if I sign up to take another state’s Bar?  After all, I did take two or three weeks of the NY state Bar exam classes before I switched to California (long story for those who haven’t heard it).  How hard could it be?  =)

Updated to add:  One of my fellow associates, A1, suggested I buy it to celebrate surviving my first year as a lawyer.  This is a pretty good excuse, as far as excuses to purchase purses go.  If I hadn’t wasted $1,000 (!!!) on a crown for my back tooth last month, I’d be buying the purse right now.  But the $1,000 is still hurting.  Lesson – Always buy dental insurance!

Sigh.  Suddenly Miers doesn’t seem like such a bad choice… 

Although, according to today’s article in the NY Times, Alito is a very nice person.  So, um, clearly, that should count for something, right?  Cause, you know, even if you’re completely ideologically opposed to the most powerful court in the United States, it’s a consolation if the Justices are at least nice.  (You’re not so convinced either, huh?)