The Turkish Bath

Did you know that Turkish Delight exists and is real? Tasty stuff, and available on every street corner. Also in the non-mythical column goes the Turkish Bath. I had my first one in Safranbolu, and it was a transformative experience.

First of all, I’ve never exfoliated so much in my life, thanks to the sinister black exfoliation glove that my Turkish Masseur (enormous belly, enormous moustache) used on me. Then came a pretty thorough washing. This is all done in a very steamy, very old, very large, all marble room. Spectacular acoustics for humming.

The massage reached its high point when my Turkish Masseur laid me down onto a large slab of marble, lathered me up, and subjected me to a series of devastating Turkish streetfighting manuevers. It was pretty painful, and I normally wouldn’t elect for my body to assume some of the positions it was forced into, but after it was done the guy towelled me off vigorously and cooked me up a cup of çay, so we parted as friends.

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