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1. As if we don’t have enough versions of “originalism”

Justice Clarence Thomas, while visiting Nebraska-Lincoln Law School, (as this seems to be the quality of school that will have him.  For the record I have nothing against Nebraska- GO TIGERS! I hear Chief Justice Roberts may have also attended!), decided to break his forever perpetual silence and proclaim that he was not an originalist. He is in fact a follower of “get-it-rightism.”  HUH! So is that what the kids are calling it these days?

But, to clear up any confusion  he went to explain the merits of his philosophy. “Get-it-rightism does not allow the justice to use a “Ouija boards or chicken bones” in interpreting the Constitution. Yes, unfortunately the justice has decided to do away with the tried and true method of discerning what the Constitution means. Implying of course that the other justices were fans of Ouija. I always thought Justice Breyer only brought that out during Halloween. I stand corrected.

Justice Thomas says that his “get-it-rightism” is meant to interpret the document as it was originally written. HUH? So…. exactly what hes doing now but he decided to coin a new word for it. Oh no wait, now what he does is he sits in a dark filled room and conjure up mysterious visions of the founders with his magic eight ball and his new “bobble head doll”-(I can see why he never talks during oral argument).

And what does Justice Thomas currently think about the state of the Constitution, well he thinks that:  “Something has gone seriously awry with this Court’s interpretation of the Constitution.”

I agree with the Justice. We should adop “get-it-rightism.” Now only if we had more ouija boards to go around.

"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us, you and I"