Penalty Shots Fatal in Fundamentalist Football

An Op-ed
piece in the Times
by Goeff
Porter translated a Fatwa concerning the righteousness of playing soccer,
and the Iman-approved rules of play.  It
establishes 15 guidelines, including:

These are some conditions
and precepts so that morally aware youth do not inadvertently
imitate
heretics
and
polytheists when playing soccer … Hell awaits those who die playing
soccer according to rules established by heretical countries, at the
head of which is America.

3. Do not call "foul" and stop the game if
someone falls and sprains a hand or foot or the ball touches his hand,
and do not give a yellow or red card to whoever was responsible for the
injury or tackle. Instead, it should be adjudicated according to Sharia
rulings concerning broken bones and injuries. The injured player should
exercise his Sharia rights according to the Koran and you must bear witness
with him that so-and-so hurt him on purpose.

9. If neither of you beats the other, or "wins" as
it is called, and neither puts the leather between the posts, do not
add extra time or penalties until someone wins. No, instead leave the
field, because winning with overtime and penalty kicks is the pinnacle
of imitating heretics and international rules.

12. If you finish playing soccer, do not talk about
your game and say, "We were better than the opponent," or "So-and-so
plays well" and so on. Instead be concerned with your bodies and
their strength and muscles, and say, "We played only to drill in
running, attacking and retreating, and to prepare for jihad in the name
of God on high."

from the New York Times

This entry was posted in Sports. Bookmark the permalink.