The opinionated proprietor of the Taken for Ranted weblog must
believe in the old saw “If you’ve got the name, you might as well
have the game.” In response to those who insist there is a war
on Christmas, Ranter has posted “John Calvin Joins the Ranter
in the War on Christmas” (Dec. 15, 2005)
Here are a few excerpts (which I hope will get you to go read the
entire post and check out his merchandise; of course, if you haven’t
already, feel free to first check out our “the so-called war on Christmas”
“NEWSFLASH: The Ranter has declared war on Christmas!
Or at least Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson and the other genius right-
wingers at Faux News believe that liberal, left, secularists like The
Ranter have declared war on Christmas. I hate to disappoint, so I
have created a “Make war on Christmas, not Iraq” bumper sticker.
Joining me in this anti-crusade is John Calvin, the famous Reformer
of Geneva, father of the Puritan movement and one of the original
soldiers in the war on Christmas.
“Many commentators have written to note that Christmas is alive and
well (or ill from a case of acute commercialism, actually, but most
Christians and atheists agree with that assessment as well unless they
happen to be retailers).
“. . . More surprising to many Christians and atheists alike is that the
great-grandfather of religious fundamentalism, John Calvin, was himself
a soldier in the war against Christmas. Like most educated Christians,
Calvin knew that the birth of Jesus did not correspond in any meaningful
way to December 25th, and that it was in essence a pagan holiday that
had been absorbed and coopted by early Christians. Calvin, however, went
the next step in believing that only holidays specifically mentioned in the
Bible should be celebrated.”
Like any good retailer, Ranter has an entire line of products at his War on Christmas
boutique — from bumper stickers and magnets, to mugs, shirts and tote bags. As
he explains pitching the product:
“Make War on Christmas, Not Iraq” Tired of Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson?
Join The Ranter in the war on Christmas. I mean this tongue in cheek, of
course. I wrote a blog post pointing out that John Calvin was a soldier in
the war on Christmas and, being a fan of Calvin, I have decided to enlist
myself.”
If you’ve given in to the commercialization of our Holiday Season, Ranter has a lot
of other gifts to please the Liberals in your life (or to tweak the conservatives),
including products featuring:
If You Can Read This You Don’t Vote Republican – “No doubt some
Republicans can read, but clearly they don’t or they wouldn’t vote the
way they do.”
Lost. One Democracy Want Ad. “LOST: One democracy. Large
economic and military power. 300,000,000 citizens. Last seen in
North America cavorting with corporate fat cats and religious funda-
mentalists. If found, return to the American people. Great sentimental
value.”
Besides checking out his full product line at CafePress, you could do far worse than
checking in regularly at Taken for Ranted, which has the appropriate tagline: “Paying
attention, and therefore outraged.” On the other hand, reindeer might want to steer
clear of his home in Yosemite, CA, for the next week or so.
Potluck
Prof. Bainbridge often deserves tweaking, but he also again deserves
credit for his posts the past couple of days on Iraq triumphalism, and America’s
need to be better than “Coercive interrogations. A gulag of secret prisons. And
now warrantless surveillance.”
Good God! Someone actually read my blog! Nobody’s bought any War on Christmas paraphenalia, I don’t do such a hard sell of it on my own blog as you do here (I’m a bit embarassed by the sales pitch as is, but maybe I’ll get over it).
Anyway, thanks for witty review of my little rant. I’m astonished (and grateful – I’ll laugh so hard if I ever see any of that stuff on the street).
Anyway, I do have some tamer things I do on the web, but I really needed a place where I could let loose, so yeah, mostly I rant.
Comment by Tom (aka The Ranter) — December 17, 2005 @ 9:56 pm
Good God! Someone actually read my blog! Nobody’s bought any War on Christmas paraphenalia, I don’t do such a hard sell of it on my own blog as you do here (I’m a bit embarassed by the sales pitch as is, but maybe I’ll get over it).
Anyway, thanks for witty review of my little rant. I’m astonished (and grateful – I’ll laugh so hard if I ever see any of that stuff on the street).
Anyway, I do have some tamer things I do on the web, but I really needed a place where I could let loose, so yeah, mostly I rant.
Comment by Tom (aka The Ranter) — December 17, 2005 @ 9:56 pm