Hi baby,

Mommy has been thinking about what’s the best way to remember you. Some parents who went through the similar experience might plant a tree, make a necklace with the baby name/birthday, or sponsoring a memorial chair in the park or something…

As much as your mommy loves tree and parks, I can’t imagine seeing a dog peeing on your name (thanks to your sister’s best practice =) or termites eating up the tree…

Since you are forever living in my heart, I think the best way to honor you is for mommy to make a vow to you.

I came to realize that (esp after reading Martha Beck’s article on Labyrinth) it is not much about what enlightenment or meaning I can get from your departure. Rather, it is how you’ve changed me since¬†you came to my life. With this vow, mommy will carry you and will turn the meaning of your existence to make this (and my) world a better place.

With this vow…

I will take good care of myself as it’s the best way to honor you.

I will try to use my ‘new set of eyes’ to see this world. To make peace. To seek the most comfort in every moment.

If daddy and I are fortunate to pregnant (with your brother / sister) again, I will make sure I’ll spend each and every single day with your daddy. No trip or long distance alone.

I will put my happiness and comfort above all.

I will forever treasure the time and days we spent together.

I will forgive more. Try to leave no pain behind.

I will live my life to the fullest as it’s the best way to honor you, my first child.