The process of waiting for your next pregnancy is an emotional and physical torture (whether you’ve experienced miscarriage or not). And regardless of how caring and thoughtful your significant other is, no one can truly understand the journey unless s/he is in your shoes. You can call me ridiculous but unless you ARE the one counting your cycle day by day, tempting/charting your basal body temperature 1st thing in the morning, setting reminder to take prenatal vitamins, making sure your OPKs are in stock (and being used in the perfect timing every month), documenting every symptom, and making weekly acupuncture appointment, you really have no idea this puts a woman in a 28-32+ days roller coaster train ride . No one likes stress. But ‘doing it right’ (according to the medical profs) requires more works than taking any finals and/or writing a thesis. And BY THE WAY, this is no one time deal – you have to be a Resilience Queen going through the 5 cycle of grief every month after BFN (big fat negative pregnancy test). There, you have to pull yourself up again and start the whole process all over.
Like I said, unless it happens on you, it is hard to imagine the pain . Not even you, Caitlyn Jenner…
let me clarify this is NOT STRESS. IT IS PAIN. It is repeated humiliation, physical and emotional drain.
I am not giving up. Yet, I just want to live. While motherhood is on top of my bucket list, I want to give some decent respect to my body and soul.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
I think the best solution for now is to give it up to nature. Surrender is like music to my ears now.