A scary and lonely path

This is it! My IVF process has officially begun. Today, I have been handed a long list of Rx, in addition to 7 files of consent forms to sign…

I looked at those unfamiliar terms and meds. I got instant chill.

I asked myself “why do I need to go through this?” “Why the neighbor/co-worker/colleague/friend of my age doesn’t need to take all these injections to make a baby?”

WHAT THE FXXK IS WRONG WITH ME? What did I do in my life to deserve this? Should I have freeze my eggs before my 30s? Or should I have listened to my peers to make babies 10 years ago, while I was switching jobs?

This is insane. Feeling like a punishment for all those times I refused to enter motherhood. Now, I have to artificially load my body (my uterus to be exact) with hormones and meds in order to welcome life (with 30% failure rate).

All I want to tell myself is….”you suck!”