Trufflers

Apparently, walking around Vienna at night alone makes me a “mark” not for muggings, but for wily women.

The first lady approached me speaking rapidly in German and put out her
hand to shake.  Trying not to be rude (maybe I am a mark after
all), I “shook” her hand.  But then she wouldn’t let go.  I
pried my hand loose and excused myself.

The next night, I passed a guy and two girls walking down
Mariahilferstrasse in the same direction as me.  The guy was
clowning around a bit and waved to me.  I nodded and walked
on.  He then tried to get my attention but I tried to ignore him.
They definitely didn’t look dangerous, just… I didn’t want to be bothered.  Finally,
he became impossible to ignore, and I turned around.  He came up
to me and said something I couldn’t understand.  Then one of the
girls walked up to me and began to totally grind against me.  I
was like, thanks, but I saw this in the Munich train station 20 years
ago when a lady “bumped into” Dad and went for his privates and his
back pocket at the same time.  My hand went to my back pocket and
sure enough, a few seconds later there was her hand on mine.  “You
want to go disco?” she asked.  No thanks, I am going to sleep.


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