DJ and I missed the maitenée showings of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and so, payed too much. I don’t blame Johnny Depp, although perhaps I should, for this disappointing rendition of the movie classic. The problem stems from a poor script. This Willy is dull-witted, poorly timed, caught up in a flashback fight with his father.

Wilder was smart. Slow. Wonderful. He didn’t rely on CG tricks. He provided the tricks. You can’t tell if he’s lying or not, ever.

This Wonka is a confused, pale child who’s completely disillusioned with the human experience. The message is much more grim than the original and “The psychological math is rudimentary and borders on insulting.”

Anyway, go see it and regret it.

Afterward, I played with some new friends Araksya and Jordan well passed dawn. I hope we can spend some quality Arrested Development time together this summer.