Dear Madam,

I must admit that you’ve caught me. To be truthful, I had my misgivings concerning the accuracy of my memory. The story seemed all too familar to me, and, indeed it was. I applaud your shrewdness and commend your boldness. Allow me, then, to recount what really happened Friday afternoon until evening, for I did go to Tracy’s to watch the Sox, the Italian Job, and the Snatch before falling asleep.

Friday morning I woke up at about 10 am to the construction outside my window. From the looks of it, they have nearly finished laying the several layers of finer and finer gravel on the site of the new graduate housing to be built behind G Tower. I showered and dressed. It was a bit early for my taste, but I was already fully awake and there was no possibility of going back to bed. I considered going to the pool, but as I hadn’t been in over two weeks, the inertia of my habbits facilitated keeping with my recent “no exercise” mantra. Not to mention, I was still rather sleepy.

I looked up a number of books on Dirac operators and gravity on HOLLIS, our school library catalogue, trying to find a derivation of ADM mass, but, alas, to no avail. Abby called to ask me if I could help her move this weekend and whether I preferred Saturday or Sunday. I chose Sunday. This was around 11 am. Had it not been for the construction, I may’ve been quite angry. That isn’t so, as I’m not usually angry at anyone for waking me up. But there are rules, and they are to be respected. I have a rule about waking up before 1 pm: I don’t do it.

By 11:30 am, I was getting antsy. Grendel’s has a terrific four dollar lunch special. I ordered the French dip and added a cup of chicken tortilla soup. It’s a steal at only ninety-nine cents. As usual, I tipped 75%, but only because the food is so cheap and because I really like the waitstaff.

I brought a copy of Poor’s Differtial Geometric Structures with me to slow the eating process, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand connections and parallel transport on bundles fully. This is sad to me. But I still have a copy of Lisa Randall’s book. I came home and picked up my new orange book and read a bit more about the Standard Model and particles.

Thirty or so pages later, Tracy called me, asking my favourite beer. I told her that I had already told her — I really like Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA and Flying Dog Doggy Style, others, too, of course. She, like Abby, was scheduled to work at 5 pm at Legal’s. They had overstaffed and sent her home. We hit up University Wine for some Rogue Mocha Porter and Rolling Rock, for balance. Then we bussed it over to Watertown for the Sox game. You can read what happened after that.

And so, Michelle, and others, I leave it to you to decide whether this post was a complete lie or not. Mind you, I have some lovely home-made minkie skin lampshades and the funniest lemur hats you could imagine for sale, should you want them. And they’re fresh, too.