Don’t Touch That Trash…It’s Mine!

You just have to love life in the city. I’m serious! You get to witness so many things that you just miss out on when living in small-town America.

For example, you have celebrity sightings. Between me and Matt we’ve seen Dan Akroyd, Aimee Mann, Rosie O’Donnell, Lou Reed, Greg Brady (ok, Barry Williams), Carly Simon, Laurie Anderson, Gerardo (Rico Suave), Spaulding Grey, Ric Ocasek, Margot Kidder, Gene Rayburn, Peter Wolf, Billy Joel, Joey McIntire, Michelle Pfieffer, Al Pacino and John Waters. Living in the city I’ve also been able to witness a pimp and one of his “girls” get into a (fortunately, just verbal) fight on the subway (she came to me for protection…ME, of all people)!

And then today, I got to witness a homeless woman (we’ll call her Precious) in the Copley subway station removing trash from the garbage can and strategically placing individual items in select areas of the platform. Precious was quite meticulous: this pita chips bag goes on the floor behind this column, that Zone bar wrapper goes on the first bench, the empty Dasani bottle goes by the turnstiles deliberately facing the tracks (like some sort of subterranean version of Spin-the-Bottle…minus the kissing).

And Hell hath no fury as Precious when an innocent tourist kicks the Dasani bottle after dropping her token into the turnstile! Even over my Discman (playing Morrissey’s Greatest Hits) I could hear Precious squealing in anger. She rushed over to the neglected bottle and returned it to it’s designated spot. She then walked up to the subway shop vendor and slapped his popcorn machine. I’m not sure why since the vendor had nothing to do with her product placement being altered.

Anyway, Precious reminded me of our little Dusty. You see, they both have this compulsive-obsessive nature with relocating things. Dusty does it with her toys. She’ll carry them one-by-one from the living to the kitchen (without playing with them). A few hours later she’ll carry them all back to her bed, one-by-one. Precious does the same thing…but with other people’s trash.


  1. Comment by Underling on May 22, 2004 7:04 pm

    Poor Precious. No one understands her form of high art.

    Stories like this are why I want to live in a bigger city.

  2. Comment by matt on May 22, 2004 7:21 pm

    Hey! I think I know Precious! Gotta love her!!!

  3. Comment by matt on May 22, 2004 7:21 pm

    Hey! I think I know Precious! Gotta love her!!!

  4. Comment by Doug on May 22, 2004 8:13 pm

    Biscuit (my Mom’s Shih Tzu) does the same thing with his toy. He is also VERY methodical when he gets bursts of energy(or when someone new comes around)…he will suddenly start running around the house, in patterns, going clockwise, then counterclockwise, randomly changing the pattern as he progresses. Has Dusty exhibited that behaviour yet?

  5. Comment by matt on May 22, 2004 8:18 pm

    Yes – she has done that! Those sudden bursts of energy also happen at the most inopportune times…like during Queer as Folk.

    These energy fits usually entail her running the 30-foot length of our living area…back and forth, back and forth. I think they forgot to give her a brain.

  6. Comment by Doug on May 23, 2004 2:34 pm

    How odd…must be a breed thing, Biscuit is so funny…the more you say, “Run Run” the faster he goes!

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