Back to Life, Back to Reality

Matt and I returned from the Cape late this morning. All of our memories (and luggage) are packed away and it’s time to prepare myself for work on Monday morning. But before I do that, I’m going to reminisce about my vacation with all of you.

Let’s see…where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Wednesday afternoon. So, from that point forward:

Matt and I had dinner at WayDownTown and sat by the front windows overlooking Commercial Street. We were fortunate enough to witness Ellie performing on the street in front of us for most of our meal.

Then we freshened up before heading to the Crown and Anchor to see Ryan Landry’s “Septic Wives”. The three of us (Matt, Jonathan, and me) laughed practically the entire time. This was definitely one of his better adaptations of a movie (and turning it into a perverted drag play). I mean, I bet there wasn’t full frontal male nudity in either version of the Stepford Wives movies!

On Thursday, Matt didn’t want to go to the beach so I went with Jonathan. He’s a much more social guy than I am and he befriended the two guys that sat beside us. In fact, I think one of them fancied me because after talking with Jonathan for a while, he asked “Who’s this mysterious friend of yours?”. Then, when he found out I was in a relationship, he responded with “Oh…damn.” He apparently lost interest after that because Jonathan went for a walk with his friend (also named John)…and while the John’s were gone, he didn’t speak to me at all.

We left the beach after I got a call from Matt that our friends, David and Chad, had arrived in town. I returned to the condo, showered, and then met up with everybody in the West End of town. Since David hadn’t been to Ptown during peak season before, we stopped into almost every store on our way back to the condo (and I continued my Ptown ritual of people watching – I swear, it’s better there than anyplace else I’ve ever been). 

That night we had dinner at the Post Office Cafe so that we could get preferred seating to see Varla Jean Merman upstairs at the Post Office Cabaret (note: the food was much better than last year). Varla’s show was also better than the one last year’s (which was more of a “best of” type show). This show was called “Girl With a Pearl Necklace”….and stupid little me didn’t pick up on the sexual innuendo in that title until she sang a song about how she’s eagerly awaiting a man to drop pearls on her chest, etc… DUH!

Anyway, it was a fun show that was followed by more street walking and people watching…and dessert at Cafe Blase around midnight.

After breakfast at Esther’s on Friday, the four of us went to the beach again (my fifth time that week – not too bad) and then had dinner at the Euro Cafe. Oh, here’s a classy story for you:

We were seated in a corner with a perfect view of 6 straight people enjoying mudslides. These people were in their late 40’s/early 50’s and started getting more and more rowdy. Since this is a roof top restaurant, they began calling down to the people on the street below – resulting in the hostess coming up and reprimanding them.

After their 4th round of mudslides (there were also numerous empty wine glasses on the table from before we had arrived), they decided that guzzling the drinks within a 10 second time frame was the way mature adults go about ingesting 16 ounces of fluid. Shortly after the “race”, I noticed one of the women in the group leaning foward and one of her friends rubbing her back. At this point, our food had arrived so we were all enjoying our entree’s.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t say the same for this woman because all of her drinks came up to see the light of day once again…all over the floor. Then the management started swearing and complaing about getting them out of there (it took about 10 minutes for them to get Vomit Lady to stand up and be carried down the stairs).


The management’s solution for cleaning was to just pour buckets of soapy water all over the floor (well, the roof since we were on a roof deck). When the bill came, David asked to speak to the manager about how we had to watch a woman puke while we ate…their response: “Shit happens.” And then the manager told our waitress to watch US to make sure we didn’t run out without paying the tab!

Damn straights. I’ve been going to Provincetown since the mid-1980’s and have never seen the gays act this way. he he

OK – back to the fun stuff. We people watched some more before going to see Miss Richfield 1981 do her show at the Crown and Anchor Cabaret. HILARIOUS! We were in the second row, but since nobody sat in front of me and Matt, it was like being in the front row…but without the risk of her spittle hitting us. I definitely recommend seeing her the next time you’re in town. I have the feeling she’s going to be going places in the world. In fact, she’s already filmed two episodes of a pilot show called “Cooking’s a Drag”…and she’s been spotlighted on Jay Leno and the Today Show.

After breakfast on Saturday, we heading back to my parents to reunite with Dusty. Apparently, my parents are much better at disciplining her because she behaved perfectly for them. Didn’t pee on the carpet or floor once. Didn’t even bark.

Now that we’re back in Boston today (Sunday) she seems to be behaving rather well. Let’s just hope it lasts. Otherwise, we may just have to go back to Ptown and leave her with my folks again!

Here are links to some of the places and people we saw:

Oh, and check out my Ptown 2004 photo gallery (follow links on the right). We’ve got some great shots of the drag queens, beach, and overall Ptown scene.


  1. Comment by Jason on August 1, 2004 5:48 pm

    Hey, sounds like you enjoyed the rest of your vacation. We had a good time. I totally thought you got the “pearl necklace” reference when we saw the poster.

    The happy pic of you at cafe Blase is great. How come I’m the only bikini clad one in the pics? Weren’t some of you taken?

  2. Comment by David on August 2, 2004 1:18 pm

    We enjoyed the second half of your vacation!!
    Yeah Miss Richfield. Did I tell you that you had the only cool umbrella on the beach?
    All the queens had big colorful ones with fringe…..

  3. Comment by matt on August 2, 2004 1:55 pm

    Ah, I miss PTown…

  4. Comment by Underling on August 2, 2004 4:37 pm

    Sounds like a fun time was had by all. My lasy “vacation” consisted of the two-day union conference where I was set upon by scorpions and had several panic attacks.

    I like your vacation better.

  5. Comment by Mery on July 23, 2005 2:38 am

    The text was good, but i stil cant find the play ipdates. looking for it dude.

  6. Comment by Richard Davis on July 24, 2005 11:12 pm

    Nice one, but what about der weg ? anywya, congrats from me.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a comment