Mormons, Mormons Everywhere
I was never too familiar with the Mormon religion. In fact, I’d never knowingly met a Mormon until recently. As a child on Cape Cod, there were few (if not none). As an adult, I’ve lived in Boston for 15 years and, until recently, never saw their elders walking around.
…until recently
All of a sudden, I’m seeing post-pubescent “elders” on the subways and in the streets – dressed in their finest Anderson-Little suits (do they still exist?) with little black-and-white name tags on the lapel. Now, I’ll say it again – I’m not all that familiar with Mormons. But I have seen the movie “Latter Days” and watched a few episodes of “Amish in the City” so I think that qualifies me as somewhat knowledgable when it comes to the process of “coming of age” in various religious communities (please note this is sarcasm).
I believe the responsibility of these 18 (+/-) year-old elders is to act as missionaries to spread the word and maybe even convert or save people throughout the country. But I think it would be far more fun if the results were reversed. I would love it if I could corrupt a Mormon. This reminds me of when I first moved to Boston and a Scientologist “befriended” me. He brought me back to their compound(?) on Beacon Street in the Back Bay and put me and my friend, Carolyn, into a room where they shut the door and left us there alone to complete a test. Becoming suspicious, we completed the surveys with fake names and the attributes of people we aspired to be (nope, I don’t go to Wentworth, I went to MIT….nope, I’m not a poor college student, I make $250,000 a year). Eventually, we tried sneaking out but they stopped us – and then we bolted.
Ah, youth.
Looking back, I think it would have been more fun to screw around with their minds instead of them trying to screw around with ours. Because at this stage of my life, I’m not so willing to put myself in a position where I’m in contact with such people. If only was as devious then as I am now. I could have shown him a whole new use for his Dianetics book.
Anyway, I wonder whether this new influx of local Mormon’s has anything to do with our recent Mormon Governor, Mitt Romney? It can’t just be coincidental that I’m noticing a greater Mormon presence suddenly now that he’s in office. It’s probably also no small coincidence that the largest Mormon Tabernacle in New England (possibly the east coast) was recently built in his town of Belmont. Food for thought.
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There have been Mormon missionaries in my part of Roslindale for as long as we’ve lived here (10+ years). You can always tell the Mormons – they’re the 6-foot-plus white guys in white shirts and ties with the short-cropped hair carrying clipboards (in other words, they don’t look like anybody who lives here); of late, I’ve spotted a female version or two. I’ve often wondered what happens if they run into the gaggles of Jehovah’s Witnesses who also roam the neighborhood – do they try to convert each other?
Hmm, those were cute in Latter Days!!
That’s all we need is you corrupting an elder and the Mitt and his cronies, throwing Bibles at you. You’d be stoned on Beacon hill, the marriage vote won’t pass, it’ll end up on the ballot. So don’t touch the Mormons. Find a nice boy on Out in Boston or Gay.com or Starbucks.
ive touched, even tasted, a mormon. and a hindu, and a mennonite, and a muslim, and a handful of jews, and a bunch of catholics. taste all the flavors that you can, as your palate and your mind will expand.
gosh, maybe theyd even hit on you…or you could take it upon yourself to make advances on them. the results may surprise you!
:oP
Oh GOD – postpubescent people in suits…are we ELDERS? Karl, you’re scaring me.
Anderson Little? Really?
How does one spot a Mormon? I am so naive about these things. The name tag thing is curious, and reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine suggests to Giuliani’s aide that everyone in NYC should wear nametags to promote a sense of friendliness and community. (The aide gets sacked by the way, for bringing a monumentally stupid idea to the forefront of an otherwise winning campaign.) But come on. Do people really venture out wearing name tags for religious purposes? (I almost typed religious porpoises, another subject entirely.)
Maybe Romney has something to do with it but I think he is such an unctuous, loathsome, sanctimonious piece of crap that I cannot discuss him in a rational manner. (Remember, this is the man who eliminated my job. With a big red pen. Slash. Cut. End income.)
And “ah youth” my foot. If I remember correctly, youth was a cruel and horrible thing. I wouldn’t go through it again, unless I can go back to 18 with the perspective and experience I have now. In fact, I think I will refer to myself that way from this point forward; 18 with 15 years of experience. Yeah. That oughta just about do it.
I have no real strong views on anyone else’s religion, except my firm belief that different religions work for different people and on different levels. You believe your thing, I believe my thing and we can look for an organized group (or not) that most closely matches it. IF, however, you are going to pick off little kids when nobody is looking, or slaughter squirrels or , say, attack my country and peers in the name of your religion, then I will definitely have something to say about it. Rather a lot. And loudly.
Otherwise…live and let worship. Just leave me the hell alone. Clipboards. Really.
)As an aside, can you believe we’ve been married 9 years as of today? 14 years together in total… oy. Where DOES the time go?)
I love you Snarl. -K
Karyn! It’s true! I’m guessing elder is more of a name than a reference to age (since elders are in their late teens/early 20’s). But you can distinguish them because a) they’re young and in suits (rare to see youth so dressed up); b) they’re quite often blonde…with short hair; c) they’re wearing name tags identifying them as “Elder William” or “Elder Samuel” (and below that is the name of the church); and d) they tend to work in packs (rarely alone).
Though, I guess it could be confusing if you weren’t paying attention to the content of the name tag. You might think it’s a hotel desk clerk or department store fragrance spritzer.
And congratulations on the anniversary! I remember your wedding at that cute little Chapel in the fork in the road in Barnstable (I also remember the weather was crap…but that didn’t destroy a beautiful ceremony and reception).
Like Adam G. I’ve seen the Elders spreading through Roslindale, where I also live, and all of Boston like wild mushrooms. One thing to keep in mind is that Mormonism is reputedly the fastest growing religion in the U.S.A. at this moment in our history. And yes, there’s no coincidence that the new Temple in Belmont (it flanks the south side of Route 2 going west from Boston and has great visibility) was built at this time.
Interestingly, some very politically savvy friends say that Romney may have rough times making a power attempt within the Rupublican Party. Their take is that the power structure of the party is solidly Baptist and that the Baptists will resist a Mormon with everything they’ve got. It’ll be interesting to see how this one works out.
And YAY!! to Canada for yesterday’s court ruling!
Ah so. I see. I think.
Don’t get me started on Department Store fragrance spritzers either.
Hm. Remember when I was so shy & retiring and never spoke , much less offered up an opinion? Ah well.
Talk to you Monday! Good luck with the move!
Good blog
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