Deja Vu

Last night was eerily similar to last Tuesday night. I got home, I did laundry, I ironed shirts, I showered and shaved and I went to bed. Last week it was in preparation of my nieces funeral, last night was in preparation for her memorial. I confirmed with my sister-in-law yesterday that a suit and tie wouldn’t be required at the memorial. It’s going to be less formal than the funeral so I’m wearing my stylin’ black Zara pants and fitted striped shirt from Mexx (thanks Chris!). Fortunately, I don’t have to stress about the tie this time.

Oh, and also after a second consecutive Tuesday evening spent ironing, I still don’t understand how so many of you people find pleasure in doing it. I received absolutely no satisfaction in the end. In fact, all I felt was annoyance that society frowns upon synthetic fibers.

Anyway, I came into work this morning to find one of those joke/political emails. I thought some of the points in it were funny so I’m doing something incredibly rare for me and copy/pasting here. It’s a humorous anaylsis of the arguements against gay marriage.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.


  1. Comment by David on September 28, 2005 10:57 am

    Well Karl, take solace that once your iron cools off you can tuck it away in the closet.
    Hopefully you won’t have to use it for quite a while.
    So you are telling me you didn’t get a thrill when it shot out steam?
    Its a nice day for the memorial. I hope all is well with your family.

  2. Comment by JC on September 28, 2005 11:05 am

    I’m telling you…ironing disco party. That’s how we roll. Think about it. Hope the memorial goes well.

  3. Comment by Brad on September 28, 2005 11:57 am

    If JC has an ironing disco party, I’d like to come. I just love ironing — not! 🙂 I’m also glad to know that women are property. Without that reminder, I might’ve forgotten. 🙂

  4. Comment by Underling on September 28, 2005 12:19 pm

    You know it’s not so much that I enjoy ironing…it’s just that it’s such mindless work. I generally put in a Family Guy DVD and watch me some Stewie while I iron. I’ll watch two episodes and realize I’ve irons like 10-12 items…then I don’t have to iron again for a week.

    My mother, however, absolutely loves to iron. When I was living with my parents and would try to iron a shirt myself, she would be up and in the kitchen and take the iron away from me. It was like she wanted to make sure she got to experience the joy of ironing clothes.

  5. Comment by Will on September 28, 2005 12:30 pm

    Underling and I work alike–I never iron without getting the TV going. The time passes very quickly and the ironing gets done in no time at all. It also helps that I live with a cat who, like all cats, loves the smell of freshly laundered clothes and has that instinctual sense, also like all cats, of exactly which piece of clothing I want to iron next so that’s the one she is sitting on at all times.

    The satirical logic of those ten points is so obvious–why is it such a massive segment of the population is blind to it? OK, I know why, but I still marvel.

  6. Comment by Kirk on September 28, 2005 3:43 pm

    They have these great places in my city (New York) where they actually wash and iron your shirts for you and then even deliver them to your building. It’s a great world!

    Let’s go Sox!

  7. Comment by Kirk on September 28, 2005 3:44 pm

    They have these great places in my city (New York) where they actually wash and iron your shirts for you and then even deliver them to your building. It’s a great world!

    Let’s go Sox!

  8. Comment by Lise on September 28, 2005 5:57 pm

    Here’s a sport for you Karl: Extreme Ironing. I kid you not.
    I for one find it oddy relaxing & satisfying –but that’s because I’m anal. 😉

  9. Comment by Karl on September 29, 2005 11:37 am

    Lise? You never cease to amaze me. That website is hilarious. Where do people come up with this stuff?

  10. Comment by karyn on September 29, 2005 11:52 pm

    I’m telling you – -DOWNY WRINKLE RELEASE SPRAY!

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