In Case You Doubted Me, Here’s the Proof…
…that I am total white trash.
It’s funny, I begged Jason not to blog about this or to tell anybody about this, but I’m going to confront my shame and discuss it here openly. It’ll be cathartic.
I had Jason come over last night for our fairly regular Thursday evening Rummy playing. Being lazy, and in an effort to save money, I offered to prepare dinner for us before playing cards. Venturing into the kitchen, we pondered our options. I found a frozen (Mystic brand) pizza and offered that. He agreed.
Pulling it out of the box and heating up the oven, I noticed that the pizza was rather small. Would that be enough for two hearty men? Of course not. As the oven was pre-heating for the frozen pizza, I scrounged through the refrigerator and came up with what I thought was a reasonable “appetizer”.
Turkey hot dogs and sauerkraut. Yep – hot dogs (though, the fact that they were turkey dogs instead of beef just might lower my white trash quotient slightly). I nuked up two hot dogs for each of us, then scooped heaping mounds of sauerkraut onto the plates. Minutes later, we had pizza.
Oh, and for his drink, I gave him CANNED iced tea…that had expired months ago (something I realized and confirmed after the fact).
It’s a wonder I ever get any company at all.
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And to where might we be able to send Jason flowers today? Jason, who is no doubt recovering from the gastronomic feat of keeping down that swill? In an effort to save money you served the poor guy frozen pizza and turkey dogs with sauerkraut… talk about an ad campaign for Alka Seltzer…gak…
and PS: What will be a wonder is if you get any company after THIS culinary debaucle. I don’t know – is this what you mean by “adventures in gastronomy”??? I didn’t know it was meant to be like the gourmand version of Survivor.
I dunno, it sounds kinda yummy to me. hmm… But y’know, food is food, it all depends on how hungry you are! heh!
Well, we both did eat every last drop. And, on their own, all items are things I enjoy (hence their being in my fridge). But all together? HMMM – looking back I still question myself on that.
At least we didn’t chop up the hot dogs and put them on top of the pizza.
Get some spray cheese next time! mmm… Good weekend Karl!!!
Just goes to show that it must be something besides your food that people visit you for. Your charming company, perhaps.
Robert has a good idea!
Kraft spray cheese on saltines. Or you could get microwaveable chilli, and squirt the cheese in it.
Well, you’ve left no possible doubt that it isn’t an Adventure in Gastronomy that’s the topic here, but the Advance of Gastroenteritis.
What’s more frightening is that what you’re describing is straight fratboy behavior.
i knew a thru n thru white trash girl that used to make what she called “trailer-park dip” which consisted of alternating layers of molten velveeta, sour cream, crushed ritz crackers, cheddar cheese, doritos, spray cheese, and repeat. i have to say, you do come pretty close, but i have yet to see the “stars n bars” flag sticker flying on the back of your pickup.
My mouth is watering.