They’s the Sweetest Bunch o’ Rednecks Y’all Ever Did See!
Despite my fears of heat and humidity, I thoroughly enjoyed myself during my little trip south this past weekend. Randy and I flew down at 4:51PM on Thursday night (Boston to Dulles, DC). We then drove an additional 3.5 hours south and west to reach Roanoke, VA just before midnight. The last 2 hours of the hour we were stuck in a massive lightning storm that lit up the sky as bright as day every second or so. I’d never seen so much lightning. One benefit to the lighting was that it made things bright enough for me to see the Blue Ridge Mountains all around us.
We stayed with Randy’s father, Roger Ray…a self-admitted redneck who has a HUGE pick-up truck, tons of guns, and the cutest little accent you ever did hear (slow, well thought out, and chock full of phrases like “I reckon” and “Earl’s gon’ die,” (referring to the groundhog that has taken up residence in his back yard and who will be shot dead in the near future). Hell, he even has redneck wind chimes in his house (empty beer and bean cans hung from a board by a pieces of string).
Aside from some furniture shopping (his father is looking for a new sofa), we spent the rest of the time at Randy’s mother’s place a few minutes away. It is there that I got to meet the rest of the Beverly Hillbillies, I mean, family. There was Charlene – his charming and incredibly sweet mother. Living with her were her boyfriend, Enis, her mother, Grannie, her sister, Enid, and Enid’s grandaughter, Gabby. The house was lovely, and behind the house they’d built a great deck and swimming pool. And that’s where we all spent the bulk of our days.
The outside air was in the 90’s (even approaching midnight) with only a brief spell of upper 80’s on Saturday. But the pool made things VERY refreshing (even 86 degree water can feel cool when the outside air is 10+ degrees hotter andhumid).
Charlene also kept me VERY well fed with southern cooking; home made biscuits and gravy, country fried chicken, corn bread (VERY different from northern corn bread). I think she may have toned down her recipes on my behalf (Randy told her my taste buds are limited), but the food tasted amazing either way. There was constantly a kitchen counter full of food from morning to night.
But the best part of her house was the love. I swear, by the end of my three days, EVERYBODY told me they loved me (hell, my family never even does that). His father, his mother, even his 91 year old Grannie gave me a kiss and hug good bye when it was time to leave.
I could get used to this. I’ve lucked out in that I already have a damn good family. It’s great to know I can add this clan to it now, too!
5 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
So, what else did you do down in my old home state?
We went to the “Star of the South”…some sort of neon sign (like Citgo in Boston) that is apparently a huge draw.
We went to Sam’s Club. We ate fast food. We (well, they) talked about guns and god.
No matter how many guns are involved, can a man who kisses and hugs his gay son’s boyfriend be considered a redneck by definition?
It sounds like a great family. I think you’re a lot like me–Fritz says the surest way to keep me happy is to feed me well.
I can’t believe it, I have those same redneck wind chimes!!
I think I’m going to be making Redneck wind chimes this weekend. Maybe even have to make a tutorial!