Getting All Wet

Randy set up the humidifier in the master bedroom over the weekend since the dry winter air has caused the skin on his hands and feet to get dry and crack. Last night before bed I noticed that it was running on empty so I refilled the cannister and turned it on high so that by the time he went to bed, the room would be pleasantly moist.

Instead, we woke up to a completely saturated carpet in a 6 foot radius surrounding the blower. I’m not talking about a light dew on the tips of the fibers, wither. We’re talking squoosh, squoosh. I initially told him it was simply my method of steam cleaning the carpets, but he didn’t buy it.

Winter makes things so complicated. For example, I’ve also noticed that it takes me longer in the morning to get ready for work. My shower, dressing, breakfast routine have remained the same…it’s the getting out the door that’s delayed. Between boots and jackets and gloves and 360 ear muffs, I’m adding a few extra minutes standing by the door. And you have to put the iPhone ear buds in before the ear muffs and gloves go on, but after the jacket goes on. But you can’t really turn on iPhone until you’re ready to walk out the door. But then you put on the gloves and on at least 4 out of 5 mornings I drop the keys because the gloves prevent a decent grip.

It’s even more complicated when it’s snowing or raining, because then I need my nylon pants to go over my jeans (otherwise, I get backsplat within 5 yards of the front door). And don’t forget the umbrella’s, which make holding the iPhone a bitch. And then there’s locking the door with the umbrella and iPhone in one hand, and keys in the other (and bending over to pick up the keys that, like I said, will inevitably be dropped to the ground).

Why do I live here?


  1. Comment by Godlen on January 12, 2010 1:39 pm

    At least you don’t have to pee just after getting out the door. I had visions of a toddler as I read your blog today.

  2. Comment by Golden on January 12, 2010 1:39 pm

    I can’t spell my own name apparently.

  3. Comment by snarl on January 12, 2010 1:50 pm

    Seriously? I thought that was on purpose. If you look back in history, ALL of your comments were from Godlen!

    Actually, as I wrote that I kept think of Ralphie’s little brother in “A Christmas Story” who was so bundled up for winter he could barely move.

  4. Comment by Mark on January 13, 2010 10:21 am

    Would you like me to bring some cheese with me the next time I visit from Paris? Because it seems you have the wine – er, whine – down pat.


  5. Comment by Randy on January 13, 2010 12:53 pm

    I was laughing so hard over this one as I know you fumble and stumble going out the door every day/time.

  6. Comment by Chris on January 14, 2010 5:36 pm

    Unless you have no need to see, I would hope you’re actually wearing 180s earmuffs, not 360s.

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