That’s the question of the day, at least for me.

Toward being in charge of what you buy, we have Buyosphere, which is a VRM company. I know that, because Tara Hunt runs it and has been working from the start to imbue it with VRM ideals.

Toward what you buy being in charge of you, we have OwnerIQ, which is about each of us being reducible to the “brands” we own, and which I just wrote about over here.

OwnerIQ’s pitch is to advertisers, basically. Also pitching advertisers are all the third parties current;y tracking you on the Web. Here’s SelectOut.org‘s list of companies currently following me in one of my browsers (with a table of html copied and pasted):

Company

 Cookie Set? Opt-Out
24 7 Real Media Opt-Out of this Network
33 Across Opt-Out of this Network
Accuen Media Opt-Out of this Network
Acxiom Opt-Out of this Network
Adap.tv Opt-Out of this Network
Adara Media Opt-Out of this Network
AdBrite Opt-Out of this Network
AdBuyer Opt-Out of this Network
AdCentric (Cossette) Opt-Out of this Network
AdChemy Opt-Out of this Network
adConductor Opt-Out of this Network
Adconion Opt-Out of this Network
AdGear Opt-Out of this Network
AdInterax Opt-Out of this Network
Adition Technologies AG Opt-Out of this Network
AdJug Opt-Out of this Network
AdJuggler Opt-Out of this Network
AdMeld Opt-Out of this Network
AdMotion Opt-Out of this Network
adnetik Opt-Out of this Network
Adnologies Opt-Out of this Network
Adotube Opt-Out of this Network
Adperium Opt-Out of this Network
Adroit Interactive Opt-Out of this Network
AdShuffle Opt-Out of this Network
AdSpeed Opt-Out of this Network
AdTech Opt-Out of this Network
Advertising Opt-Out of this Network
AggregateKnowledge Opt-Out of this Network
Akamai Opt-Out of this Network
AlmondNet Opt-Out of this Network
Anonymous Media Opt-Out of this Network
AOL Behavioral Advertising Opt-Out of this Network
AOL Sponsored Listings Opt-Out of this Network
AppNexus Opt-Out of this Network
Atlas Technology Opt-Out of this Network
AudienceScience Opt-Out of this Network
BeenCounter Opt-Out of this Network
BidPlace Opt-Out of this Network
Bizo Opt-Out of this Network
BlueKai Opt-Out of this Network
brand net Opt-Out of this Network
BrightRoll Opt-Out of this Network
Brilig Opt-Out of this Network
BTBuckets Opt-Out of this Network
BuySight Opt-Out of this Network
BuzzLogic Opt-Out of this Network
BV! Media Opt-Out of this Network
Casale Media Opt-Out of this Network
Chango Opt-Out of this Network
Channel Intelligence Opt-Out of this Network
Choice Stream Opt-Out of this Network
Clearspring Opt-Out of this Network
ClickDistrict Opt-Out of this Network
Cobalt Group Opt-Out of this Network
Cognitive Match Opt-Out of this Network
CONTEXTin Opt-Out of this Network
Convertro Opt-Out of this Network
Cox Digital Solutions Opt-Out of this Network
CPMStar Opt-Out of this Network
CPX Interactive Opt-Out of this Network
Crimson Tangerine Opt-Out of this Network
Criteo Opt-Out of this Network
Cross Pixel Media Opt-Out of this Network
Dapper Opt-Out of this Network
DataLogix Opt-Out of this Network
DataXu Opt-Out of this Network
Datran Media Opt-Out of this Network
Demand Media Opt-Out of this Network
Demdex Opt-Out of this Network
Dotomi Opt-Out of this Network
Double Verify Opt-Out of this Network
e-planning Opt-Out of this Network
Think Realtime Opt-Out of this Network
Effective Measure Opt-Out of this Network
Efficient Frontier Opt-Out of this Network
Eloqua Opt-Out of this Network
EMC Opt-Out of this Network
Engage:BDR Opt-Out of this Network
eXelate Media Opt-Out of this Network
Experian Marketing Services Opt-Out of this Network
Exponential Interactive Opt-Out of this Network
EyeWonder Opt-Out of this Network
Facilitate Digital Opt-Out of this Network
FetchBack Opt-Out of this Network
Fireclick Opt-Out of this Network
Flashtalking Opt-Out of this Network
Forbes Media Extension Opt-Out of this Network
FOX Audience Network Opt-Out of this Network
Freewheel Opt-Out of this Network
Full Circle Studies Opt-Out of this Network
Glam Media Opt-Out of this Network
Google Opt-Out of this Network
Groupon Opt-Out of this Network
Hurra Communications Opt-Out of this Network
i-Behavior Opt-Out of this Network
Infectious Media Opt-Out of this Network
Inflection Point Media Opt-Out of this Network
Insight Express Opt-Out of this Network
Intent Media Opt-Out of this Network
interCLICK Opt-Out of this Network
Invite Media Opt-Out of this Network
Jumptap Opt-Out of this Network
Keyade Opt-Out of this Network
Lijit Opt-Out of this Network
LiveRail Opt-Out of this Network
Lotame Opt-Out of this Network
Lucid Media Opt-Out of this Network
Magnetic Opt-Out of this Network
Maxpoint Interactive Opt-Out of this Network
Media Innovation Group Opt-Out of this Network
Media6degrees Opt-Out of this Network
mediaFORGE Opt-Out of this Network
MediaMath Opt-Out of this Network
MediaMind Opt-Out of this Network
Mediaplex Opt-Out of this Network
Meebo Opt-Out of this Network
Microsoft Advertising Opt-Out of this Network
Millennial Media Opt-Out of this Network
Mindset Media Opt-Out of this Network
MindShare Opt-Out of this Network
Mixpo Opt-Out of this Network
Monster.com Opt-Out of this Network
MyBuys Opt-Out of this Network
MyThings Media Opt-Out of this Network
Navegg Opt-Out of this Network
Netmining Opt-Out of this Network
Newtention Opt-Out of this Network
Next Performance Opt-Out of this Network
Nextag Opt-Out of this Network
Nielsen Opt-Out of this Network
Nugg.ad Opt-Out of this Network
Omniture Opt-Out of this Network
OpenX Opt-Out of this Network
Optimax Media Delivery Opt-Out of this Network
Outbrain Opt-Out of this Network
OwnerIQ Opt-Out of this Network
OxaMedia Opt-Out of this Network
PeerSet Opt-Out of this Network
PointRoll Opt-Out of this Network
PrecisionClick Opt-Out of this Network
PredictAd Opt-Out of this Network
Proximic Opt-Out of this Network
Publishers Clearing House Opt-Out of this Network
Pubmatic Opt-Out of this Network
Pulse360 Opt-Out of this Network
Quantcast Opt-Out of this Network
QuinStreet Opt-Out of this Network
Quisma Opt-Out of this Network
RadiumOne Opt-Out of this Network
RapLeaf Opt-Out of this Network
Red Aril Opt-Out of this Network
Reedge Opt-Out of this Network
RewardTV Opt-Out of this Network
richrelevance Opt-Out of this Network
Ringleader Digital Opt-Out of this Network
Rocket Fuel Opt-Out of this Network
Rovion Opt-Out of this Network
Safecount Opt-Out of this Network
SageMetrics Opt-Out of this Network
ScanScout Opt-Out of this Network
Smart AdServer Opt-Out of this Network
Snoobi Opt-Out of this Network
Specific Media Opt-Out of this Network
SpongeCell Opt-Out of this Network
Struq Opt-Out of this Network
Switch Concepts Opt-Out of this Network
Tapad Opt-Out of this Network
Target Opt-Out of this Network
TargusInfo Opt-Out of this Network
Tatto Media Opt-Out of this Network
TellApart Opt-Out of this Network
Teracent Opt-Out of this Network
TidalTV Opt-Out of this Network
Epic Marketplace Opt-Out of this Network
Traffiliate Opt-Out of this Network
Travel Ad Network Opt-Out of this Network
Triggit Opt-Out of this Network
Tumri Opt-Out of this Network
Turn Opt-Out of this Network
Underdog Media Opt-Out of this Network
Undertone Networks Opt-Out of this Network
ValueClick Media Opt-Out of this Network
Veruta Opt-Out of this Network
Vibrant Media Opt-Out of this Network
Vindico Opt-Out of this Network
Visible Measures Opt-Out of this Network
VoiceFive Networks Opt-Out of this Network
Wall Street on Demand Opt-Out of this Network
Walmart Opt-Out of this Network
Weborama Opt-Out of this Network
Webtrekk Opt-Out of this Network
[x+1] Opt-Out of this Network
XA.Net Opt-Out of this Network
XGraph Opt-Out of this Network
Xtend Media Opt-Out of this Network
YuMe Opt-Out of this Network
Ziff Davis Opt-Out of this Network

I’ll find a better way to paste that pile in later. Meanwhile, it says enough.

We are at a choice point, right now. Either we’re in charge of our lives, and of what we do in the marketplace, or the guesswork mills are.

Free customers are more valuable than captive ones. That’s why VRM will succeed, sooner or later.