The right frame for relationship is personal, not social

The short answer to Brian Solis‘s headline question — Are Businesses Becoming the New Big Brother in Social Media? — is no, because they’re not that smart. In the body copy and graphics of his excellent post, Brian explains why. Here’s one sample:

There are several other images like that, each of which says something we — as users and customers — have known all along, but companies spying on us (even for our own good) don’t. Or do, but have rationalized spying anyway, because that’s all they know how to do. So far.

Brian:

Considering that 58% want you to engage in times of need, 42% wish to hear from you in good times, 64% only want you listening to be at their beck and call, and half of all consumers don’t want you listening at all, what are you to do?

Obviously social media, and specifically social listening, isn’t going away. But it does take tactfulness, genuine intentions and diplomacy to listen, learn, and engage (directly or indirectly) in ways that consumers feel recognized and important. It’s hard to imagine that anyone who says something negative or positive only to have it appreciated and considered by an organization will feel anything other than thankful.

Agreed. Especially if the frame is still a social one, and the interplay happens on social media (meaning Facebook and Twitter, mostly).

But relationships of human beings are personal, not just social.

The problem I have with my car or my airline is not a social one. It’s personal. Obviously, I can make it social, and that’s how Social CRM works today: I complain on Twitter or Facebook. But why should I have to go through Facebook or Twitter to get a dialog going with a human being at a company providing me a product or service?

What we need is VRM. There is lots of VRM development going on, but we’re still missing VRM tools that match up with CRM tools. It’s as simple as that. Many are in progress, but they aren’t here yet, in the sense that any one of us knows we can use them, on our phones or computers, to get through to somebody on the other side, and to deal at a machine level with the stuff that machines handle best.

CRM can’t do it alone, and it’s wrong to expect it to do what it can’t. It takes two hands to clap. The missing hand for CRM, all along, has been VRM one.

What we need, I believe, at this point, is a few CRM-facing VRM companies and developers to get together with CRM developers who are ready to build out their side of VRM+CRM relationships. D2D: Developer to Developer.

Some of the VRM developers we need are on this list. Others will need to step up. And to do it soon, because it’s becoming clear at last that both SCRM and CRM can’t get it done alone.